


Letters to Tony

by Ytteb



Series: Letters [4]
Category: NCIS
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-05
Updated: 2016-02-06
Packaged: 2018-05-18 08:32:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5914282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ytteb/pseuds/Ytteb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Letters people have written to Tony. Will be mostly about Tony but other characters will get a mention - especially if they write a letter.   Some 'canon' deaths referred to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Mother

_My dear one_

_I wish so much that I wasn't writing this letter. I wish that I could be with you today in person - although I suppose you might not be as excited about your 41st birthday as you were your 7th! And perhaps you wouldn't want your old mother at your birthday parties now …_

Tony's hand began to shake and he nearly dropped the letter. The expensive looking envelope had looked like just another birthday card and he had started reading the contents almost without thinking until he reached the word 'mother'. His eyes widened in wonder and he went to sit on his couch to carry on reading.

_It's hard knowing that I'm going to die soon. There's so much I want to do, so many things left undone but I decided that writing this letter was something that I could and would do. There are lots of things I regret about dying but the one that hurts most is that I won't see you grow up; that someone else will be the one to tuck you in at night, someone else will check the closet for vampires, someone else will kiss your knee better when you've fallen down. But perhaps now you're 41 you're a bit less accident prone! I hope so. I hope you're safe._

_When the doctors told me I didn't have long, I decided to write to you. I wanted you to know how much I love you. I hope you don't remember too many of the times when I had to do the 'mom' thing and tell you off. I hope you remember the good times: the visits to the movies, fishing trips with Dad, story times, sleepy times. I guess I should apologise for making you wear that sailor suit! But you looked so cute in it … it probably means you've always refused to have anything to do with the Navy! Did you know there's a Paddington family tradition of service in the Royal Navy? Ask your great uncle Clive – he'll tell you._

_I should tell you that you have your father to thank for getting this on your 41st birthday! I wanted it to arrive a year earlier but Dad said that your 40th would be traumatic enough without you getting a 'letter from the grave' as well so we agreed it should come a year later. I hope that's OK._

_I have so many hopes for you, my darling. I find I don't wish for you to be rich – although your father and Clive will always look after you – and I don't pray for you to be 'successful'. I want you to be you, the you you are meant to be. I see your determination, your stubbornness, your energy and your sense of humour and I think those qualities will serve you well. But I also see your kindness, the way you look out for others and I can see that your world has become less certain as you've come to know that there is something wrong with me. Your eyes are like my mother's and, like hers, they don't miss much!_

_So, my dear Tony, I won't mind if you're not 'successful' in the eyes of the world, I won't be disappointed if you haven't added to the DiNozzo fortune or if you're not at the top of whatever profession you have chosen. But I hope you will feel fulfilled in whatever you are doing - and I realise that I can't begin to imagine what that will be – but I can imagine that you do it well and wholeheartedly because I see that in you already. The little boy who practised for hours until he could ride his bike without training wheels won't do anything half-heartedly!_

_I'm sad that I won't see you as an adult; that I won't know if you are married or have made me a grandmother; that I won't know if you are still climbing tall trees to escape the world. Yes, I'm sad that I won't see my dear boy grow up but I'm not afraid for you because I trust that you are a good man. And perhaps, if you have to lose one parent, it's better that you lose me. It gives me great comfort and confidence to know that I am leaving you with your father who will be able to look after you so much better than I ever could. I know that you will always be the best of friends; if I didn't know that I don't know how I could bear to leave you._

_Know that I am proud of you; know that you brought me and your father so much joy and know that nothing you do could ever make me love you less._

_With all my love_

_Mom_

Tony blinked as he got to the end of the letter. He almost winced when he read his mother's hopes for the relationship with Senior but somehow believed her when she said that  _her_ love would never have dimmed. He put the letter back in the envelope and spotted two more sheets of paper. The first one was a covering note from his mother's lawyer and the second was a letter from his father.

_Junior_

_Your Mom wants us both to write a letter for you to read on your 41st birthday. Her first thought was that you'd have it on your 40th but I know how much I'm dreading reaching that milestone and I reckon you won't want anything else depressing happening on that day._

_I'm not sure what your Mom wants me to say. After all, I hope that I'll still be around in person. The DiNozzo genes are pretty good so I should be. I hope you take after me that way; the Paddingtons sometimes have dodgy breathing as they get older. I can't see Uncle Clive making old bones but he's certainly a wily old bird when it comes to investments although I'm not sure if he's right about this North Sea oil he's into. Your Mom says he's never been wrong on an investment yet so perhaps I'll ask him for an intro._

_I guess that's what I should tell you, Junior. Always be on the lookout for an investment opportunity and be ready to jump in. It's hard work and sometimes family life suffers as a result but I know you appreciate the good things money buys. It'll buy you a good education. Just remember that the friends you make at school might be your future business partners. Keep an eye out for the ones with the rich parents._

_Just remembered that you'll be middle-aged by the time you're reading this so you'll have learned all this from me anyway. I haven't got time to rewrite this but I guess it never hurts to repeat the importance of always being alert for opportunities._

_We'll both miss your Mom but we'll always have each other. DiNozzo men don't go in for all this emotional stuff but I love you Junior … and we'll be all right._

_Dad._

Tony gave a half laugh as he finished his father's letter. Some things never changed! He put that letter back in its envelope but re-read his mother's. He thought it was the best birthday present he'd had that year.

 

 

 


	2. Kate

On the day following Kate's funeral Tony arrived at work to find the squad room empty although there were two empty coffee cups on Gibbs' desk suggesting that he was around somewhere. As Tony sat down at his desk he noticed a brown envelope waiting for him; he examined it suspiciously at first but then realised that it had come internally from HR. Tony couldn't imagine any terrorist getting past Dolores Bromstead so he decided to open the envelope which turned out to contain a typewritten sheet of paper with a handwritten note at the bottom. In Kate's handwriting.

 _Dear Tony (_ the typed portion began)

_I'm writing this as you suggested although it feels odd that if you're reading this it's because I'm dead. In case you're reading this after I've died at a ripe old age in some upmarket retirement community, I'll make it clear that I'm writing this after working for NCIS for about two years. God! Two years of working for Gibbs and with you; it feels more like 40!_

_As you may be reading this just as I'm knocking on the pearly gates and asking St Peter for admission, I'll be kind and admit that working for NCIS could have been worse. I mean, I could have been working with Gibbs on my own. How did you manage that? So, while I'll admit that a chauvinistic frat boy wasn't my co-worker of choice, you helped me out by attracting most of Gibbs' … what's the word? … attention, I guess. And that didn't seem to change even when we added McGee to the mix. I can never decide whether it's because you're brave, suicidal or stupid: knowing you, it's probably a mix of all three. I'm not ungrateful – oh, that sounds like something Ducky would say. Do you think he's rubbing off on me as much as you and Gibbs are? Mom was right when she said that joining NCIS might not be good for me. Although she was thinking of my physical safety and not my moral corruption._

_Still, with St Peter potentially listening in, I'll try and think of nice things to say about you. You tried to show me what to do. Just as well really, as Gibbs seems to think that interpreting his grunts and glares is a class at FLETC. And you clued me in, as much as anyone can, into the way that Gibbs wants (demands!) things to be done. Admittedly getting money out of you was like getting blood out of a stone but you usually found a way to get McGee to pay your debts so I suppose you aren't a complete lost cause._

_And we worked well as a team right from the start. Mostly because you recognised my superiority in most things! Just kidding, St Peter! I never expected you to be as good at the job as you are. Is it a DiNozzo rule that it's a sin to look as if you're actually working? As I write this, I realise (again) that I really don't understand you. If I ever had any spare time I'd profile you. I do know, however, that I trust you and not just in the field. Despite all the pranks (and where do you get the energy for all of them?) I trust that you'd never really hurt me. After all, Gibbs must see something in you to have put up with you for so long and then there's your frat brother. Steve Adler told me your fraternity name but he also told me that you were the best type of friend – ferociously loyal and forgiving. He also said that you could drain a keg quicker than anyone he knew but I'm not sure that's something I look for in a friend._

_Friend. I guess we have become friends. In just 2 short (or long!) years we've already had lots of moments when we've laughed at the same things, understood things the same way … when we've united in the face of Gibbs' latest Gibbsness. By the time you get to read this I hope we've had lots more._

_But you might not be around much longer. No, I don't mean you might be going to die soon although, seriously, Tony you are one accident-prone guy. No, what I mean is that you'll get promoted and move off. Oops, I realise I don't like the sound of that. I'll miss you, of course, but with you unavailable, will Gibbs choose me as his next victim? No, I can probably deflect him on to McGee._

_Seriously, Tony, look after yourself; it's too scary being in the squad room with Gibbs on my own. Listen to what Ducky's been telling you about good and bad cholesterol. And remember what I told you about bad food pretending to be good … look behind the label, Tony! Which I guess, I may not have been. No, not with food – I'm always careful about that. No, I mean with people; perhaps I really should get round to looking behind your pretty exterior. And yes, I do think you're good looking._

_I've done what you wanted and it's getting late so I'm going to run this up to HR for filing. It'll do as a stop gap. I'll write another one soon._

_In case this is goodbye – it's been an experience, Tony. And, although I'll deny it if anyone asks, it's one I wouldn't have missed for anything. So, thank you, Tony for helping me survive NCIS and Gibbs. Look after yourself, you're a good guy really._

_Kate_

Tony gave a half smile as he reached the end of the typed section and then gasped as he read the part Kate had scribbled in afterwards.

_DiNozzo! You're dead! I mean it, you've gone too far this time. I've just come back from HR where Delores Bromstead gave me her fishy glare and said,_

_"Agent Todd, I think Agent DiNozzo was misleading you. There's no requirement for field agents to write letters to their emergency contacts to be opened in the event of their demise."_

_Of course, I should have known better. After all, it's been at least a week since your last prank but involving Delores is really low. She already doesn't approve of me because she knows why I left the Secret Service and now you've convinced her that I'm a gullible sap. Which I am. I hate you, DiNozzo!_

_Delores was 'kind' enough to say that "if you really want us to, Agent Todd, HR will lodge your letter and give it to Agent DiNozzo if you are killed in the line of duty." And you know, Tony, I'm going to take her up on that offer but … and this is a big but … know this, DiNozzo; if you're reading this because I'm dead, well, I'm going to come back and haunt you! Haunt you! It'll almost be worth being dead to see you squirm!_

_Caitlin Todd._

_P.S. It was a good joke, Tony. I think Delores nearly smiled. And I don't hate you. Well, not all the time. There are times when you're almost house trained._

_Love_

_Kate._

Tony laughed as he finished reading. Gibbs came in at that moment and heard the unexpected sound.

"You all right, Tony?" he asked, concerned that perhaps Tony had finally crumbled under the pressure of the last few days.

"No," said Tony honestly, "but I'm getting there!"

 


	3. Paula

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tag to 'Grace Period'

Tony helped himself to a drink and then sat down wearily on his couch. After a few minutes gazing into space he exerted himself enough to look at the mail he had collected on his way into the apartment: bills, circulars and a letter addressed in handwriting he thought he should recognise. He tore the envelope open.

_Dear Tony_

_I guess you may be surprised to be getting a letter from me …_

"Well, yeah," said Tony, "seeing as I went to your funeral three hours ago." He loosened his black tie, took another sip of his drink and continued reading.

_I guess you may be surprised to be getting a letter from me but who knows what's about to happen? The Director wants to see me on Monday to talk about a re-assignment and she may want to transfer me straightaway. So, in case we don't get a chance to talk, I thought I'd write._

_Anyway, I like writing letters. Do you remember those letters that Gibbs confiscated from Guantanamo? Admittedly there wasn't much to do down there but that wasn't the whole reason I wrote letters. There's something comforting about seeing a letter on your doormat, knowing someone's taken the trouble to write. And you can touch a letter afterwards – you can't do that with a phone call and how many people print off an email? My mom kept all the letters my dad wrote to her; tied up with red ribbon (yeah, I know it's a cliché) and every now and then she'd hide herself away and read them. Don't worry, I don't expect you to tie this up in ribbon and sleep with it under your pillow!_

_Especially now that you've got a real girlfriend. Never thought I'd see the day: Tony DiNozzo all grown up. Sorry. I realise that's the tone, the attitude I've always had with you – a bit mocking, a bit cruel, always on the alert in case you got the upper hand. But this week, this horrible week, I saw something else. Do you think it takes tragedy to make us see more clearly? If so, message to whoever's listening upstairs, 'I can see clearly enough now. Don't give me any more help!'_

_My team were great, Tony. Can you imagine how you'd feel if you lost Gibbs and McGee? I guess you could: you lost Kate. I've felt in a sort of fog ever since it happened. One moment they were there and the next, gone … for ever. How do you get over that, Tony? Everyone says I will, that the pain will get less. And, another cliché, I believe them but that hurts even more. I feel I'll be letting them down – again – if I ever think of them without it hurting as much as it does now._

_Surprisingly, Gibbs was almost helpful. No pity, no quarter given. Bastardness was dialled down a notch or two. But I really didn't, really really didn't, want anyone to be nice to me. And it's not like I deserved it anyway. I lost my team. I don't think that's forgivable._

_And also surprisingly – sorry, bitch mode is still in operation – you were helpful too. Not when you did that weird joke thing in the squad room but when we were in the room where it all happened. It wasn't so much what you said – although thank you for trying – as what you did. Apparently Gibbs said he was relying on you to find answers about how the attack happened and, as I watched you prowling round that room, I realised that I did too. I realised, despite all my putdowns and your clown face, that I knew you're one hell of an agent. All my fears and anxieties were trapped in that room but they could wash over you like a rock and you wouldn't give way. And that was comforting because at the moment all I want is to catch the people who killed my team; I don't think I'll be able to move on until that's done. Almost the only that's helped me this week was seeing you do your job – the DiNozzo way (!) – because it made me realise that we will get the answers we need. Because you're on the case._

_I've often wondered where you and I went wrong. Perhaps if we hadn't met in Guantanamo where I was prickly and on my dignity? Perhaps if Gibbs wasn't always in grizzly bear mode whenever I got within shouting distance of you? I don't know. Perhaps it wouldn't have made any difference, perhaps our stars were never meant to be aligned? You've probably got a movie quote in mind already. But today, when you admitted you're in love, I saw something different. Don't worry, I'm not about to declare undying love for you, I'm not going to turn up on your wedding day and make a scene. I wonder if Gibbs would shoot me if I did?_

_Sorry. Usually people like getting my letters. They say I have a gift for writing them. Doesn't seem to be working tonight. I can't concentrate. I haven't been able to concentrate all week and I'm terrified that I wasn't concentrating when my team was killed. Was it my fault, Tony?_

_Anyway, when I saw you today. All serious and focussed. Shy and self-deprecating about being in love, I saw something different. Do you think we dismissed what we had too easily? I assumed our attraction (and we were attracted, weren't we?) was all hormones, all physical but perhaps there was something more, perhaps our minds were drawn together as well. Hope that doesn't sound too much like some romantic novel. I don't mean it to. I just wonder whether we might have had something._

_I guess it didn't help that I've got into the habit of thinking I have to assert myself in every situation. Well, it got me a team lead and got you still being Gibbs' second. Sorry, that wasn't tactful, back to my default position. But I do wonder if I've paid a price: fighting every corner, winning every battle, insisting on every right … is that why I'm writing this alone in my apartment? When you look as strong as I pretend to be there aren't always many people queueing up with Kleenex and chicken soup. Although I have a feeling that you'd be here if you could, you'd brave the Cassidy glare to see if I needed anything. But I suppose that after being scorched by the Gibbs' glare, the Cassidy glare hardly even registers!_

_I guess I want to repeat what I said to you this afternoon. If you love your girl, tell her. I've learned this week that we shouldn't wait for a better time - because there might not be one. Don't be put off by what other people think. Is that what we did? Did we listen to other people saying we were too much alike for it to work? Did we waste our opportunity? Tony, truly, I'm not making a pass at you! If we had a chance, it's long gone but, almost for the first time, I realise what a good person you are. And what a good friend you've been - without any encouragement from me! And it's because you're my friend that I want you to have a chance at happiness. Take it. For me. Please._

_Of course, I don't expect you will. I can't imagine what type of explosion it would take to rock your world before you took my advice. And especially dating advice! But just in case my words can make a difference … just do it, Tony. Tell her you love her._

_If I'm still in the DC office next week after you read this, do me a favour and don't laugh when you see me. Or make some joke which will make me regret all this. But a hug would be good._

_Paula_

"Thanks, Paula," whispered Tony when he finished the letter, "and I wouldn't have laughed. And I might have hugged you even if Gibbs had been watching." He raised his glass in silent tribute.

 


	4. Jenny

Tony sighed as he approached his office on the USS Ronald Reagan after doing his first patrol of the day. Patrolling reminded him of when he worked in Philadelphia although at least he'd had co-workers then and could go home to his own space at the end of each shift.

"Mail's arrived, Sir. I've put it on your desk."

"Thank you, Petty Officer …" but the sailor had gone by the time he had remembered the guy's name. He sighed again at this reminder of how few people he knew on board the aircraft carrier after just a week as agent afloat but then brightened at the thought of mail. There was bound to be something from Abby who was responding enthusiastically to his postcards. McGee preferred to email. Gibbs seemed to prefer to use telepathy so it was probably Tony's fault that he wasn't picking up messages from the Boss.

A picture of a witch surfing on a pumpkin orange board was lying on Tony's desk– Tony guessed that was Abby's contribution for the day – and there was also a long brown envelope which was marked as coming from the Navy Yard. Tony suppressed another sigh; he was, after all, supposed to the cheerful one and opened his letter. His heart leapt with excitement when he saw 'Office of the Director, NCIS' written at the top. He punched the air in joy even as he silently apologised to Gibbs for not trusting him. He settled down to read the letter and felt his stomach lurch as he saw that it had been written by Jenny Shepard and not Leon Vance.

"There goes the great escape," he muttered, "It's another letter from the 'great navy yard in the sky'."

 _Dear Tony,_ he read,

_By the time you read this I will have succumbed to the disease which Ducky diagnosed some time ago. I will either be dead or will have had to take a medical retirement. I find that 'numbering my days' has given me a certain clarity and, I suppose, a wish to make amends for what I have done wrong in the past. In many cases, of course, that will not be possible but I hope that your case will be an exception._

_Tony, I want you to know that, after an initial period of 'adjustment' as I became accustomed to your unorthodox way of doing things, I came to see you as a very fine agent. I was being truthful when I said that the way you led the team during Jethro's absence in Mexico was exemplary. I want to restate that view now. You are a good agent, Tony._

_I should have insisted that you take the Rota posting. You were eminently qualified for the role and the agency would have benefitted from your expertise. I regret that I allowed you to refuse the promotion but I shared your doubts about Jethro's fitness to lead and, selfishly, I wanted you to stay and continue with the Benoit assignment. I was wrong._

_I apologised to Jeanne Benoit for my actions in sending you in undercover as her boyfriend. I told her that I crossed a line and that my actions were wrong but I don't think I ever told you that. So I tell you now: I was wrong to send you in to seduce her and I was wrong not to pull you out when I saw that you were getting too involved. And I did know you were in too deep but I preferred to ignore that. It was irresponsible. And the whole assignment was flawed as you had no back up and that was demonstrated when you were nearly killed. Unlike Gibbs, I don't have a rule about apologies so I apologise now. I'm sorry, Tony._

_You paid a high price for my obsession but I paid a price too. You never trusted me again and I lost your friendship. I'm writing this on the eve of our trip to LA: it's the first time you haven't managed to wriggle out of being on assignment with me since La Grenouille! I must say you looked suspicious when I ordered you and Ziva to come with me and I guess you were right: I did have an ulterior motive for wanting you with me._

_Hopefully, however, you forgave me some time ago! That was another reason for wanting to write this letter to you. I expect by now you have taken up the team lead position in Hawaii so I probably won't have been able to have a talk to you about non-work matters such as this apology._

_I'm sorry I had to drag you to LA but it seemed the best way: it meant that I would be able to take you aside and ORDER you to take the new posting without Gibbs influencing you in some way. I'm sure by now you see that Hawaii is a perfect posting for you and Dr Mallard will be pleased that the climate will be beneficial for you._

_I do hope you're not reading this letter and laughing because you managed to wriggle out of yet another promotion. I hope not because, if so, it will have meant extra paperwork for me as I would have had to write a strong recommendation on your file so that the next Director was aware of how highly I rate you. I will have done everything possible to make sure you got a promotion! And that you start off on the right foot with a new Director; like I said, you take a bit of acclimating to!_

_That was the only 'ulterior' motive for taking you to LA: I know the excuse was a bit feeble but I would never get you involved in any of my 'schemes' again. I hurt you enough before and I would never put you in that position again. I promise that I learned my lesson after Jeanne and, if you had only known, I was completely trustworthy after that._

_So, Tony: thank you for your service to NCIS and to me. Thank you also for your service with Jethro: there aren't many people who could work with him as you do. Actually, there aren't many people who work as you do anyway, but that's a different matter. I'm sure you guessed long ago that I had deep feelings for Jethro and it always comforted me that, if I couldn't have his six, it was you who did._

_Thank you, Tony. I don't imagine you'll be too sad to hear of my death and, if my plan has worked, you were nearly 5000 miles away and probably sunning yourself on a beach when you heard the news._

_I'm glad I've written this to you. Now all I have to do is write to Jethro!_

_My best wishes for your continuing career with NCIS._

_Jennifer Shepard._

A groan escaped Tony's lips as he got to the end of the letter and realised what the bullets in the Mojave Desert had deprived him of. He stared out of his porthole and tried not to think that he could have been gazing out on the blue seas around Hawaii rather than the grey sea and grey sky of the North Atlantic.

 


	5. Franks

_DiNo_ zzio

_Hell, I don't know how you spell your name. DiNozzo? DiNozo? Doesn't matter, I guess most people spell it wrong. You're used to it._

Tony looked up in exasperation from the letter he was reading. It had arrived on his desk that morning. He didn't recognise the handwriting but the Mexican stamp gave him a clue to the identity of his correspondent. If he hadn't already guessed that the letter was from Mike Franks the whiff of tobacco which met his nostrils and the ring mark from a bottle would have been clues.

The envelope was in different writing to that of the letter and Tony guessed that it had been forwarded by Franks' daughter-in-law. The investigator in Tony was surprised by Mike's handwriting which was an elegant copperplate. The man had always been borderline scruffy, the type of person on whom a tie never fitted and whose shirt automatically creased on contact with his body so this beautiful calligraphy was a shock.

Tony paused to consider this anomaly and decided that a schoolteacher, many years before, had somehow instilled this handwriting into a young Mike Franks who then, seeing that it fit its purpose, stuck to it without change. Handwriting which hadn't changed for decades was somehow appropriate for Franks. Having resolved this oddity, Tony turned back to his letter.

_I guess you'll be surprised to be getting a letter from me. It's no secret that I don't think much of you. Or anyone in your team. Don't think any of you would have made it in my day. All this worrying about warrants and 'probable cause'. Don't see how you ever lock anyone up._

_So, you're not my first choice – just my only choice. Leyla will send this after the funeral so you'll already know that it's all over with me. And don't think you can make eyes at my daughter-in-law, I know your reputation and I wouldn't trust you with Leyla; no, that's not why I'm writing to you._

_Jethro seems to think highly of you. Well, enough that he's kept you on his team. I reckon he'd just got used to you and didn't notice your annoying ways after a while. And he doesn't like to admit when he's made a mistake: maybe that's the reason he kept you on. He's loyal too. Once he's decided someone's his responsibility he doesn't let go._

_OK, I'm used to trusting Probie's judgement, so perhaps there is more to you than I ever spotted. I guess I was always focussed on Jethro whenever I came to DC so you were all a bit of a blur, noises off, annoying flies._

_Anyway, I'll get to the point. Time's precious and I could be playing with my granddaughter or drinking a beer instead of doing this. Probie'll take me dying hard. Like I said, he takes responsibility for people; he'll think he's to blame for some reason. You'll need to look out for him, make sure he doesn't shut himself away in that damn basement of his._

_So, DiNoz … Tony, I guess you're the one for the job. Whatever I think of you as an agent, I reckon you're loyal like Jethro. And that'll do. I've looked out for Gibbs ever since I met this grieving marine who was in a world of pain. I've always done what I thought was best for him but it's time to pass the baton on. Over to you. Don't mess up._

_Franks_

McGee, sitting at his own desk, was surprised to hear something like a snarl coming from Tony as he finished reading his letter.

"Bad news?" he asked.

"No," huffed Tony, "nothing I didn't know already." He screwed the letter up and threw it violently into his bin. He then had second thoughts and retrieved it. He smoothed it out and laid it on his desk.

"Tony?" asked McGee.

"I'll keep it," announced Tony, "Reading it reminds me that in comparison with Franks, Gibbs isn't such a bastard after all!"

Gibbs had seen the letter on Tony's desk and thought of asking Tony what it was about but now, coming unseen down the stairs from MTAC, he heard Tony's words and thought better of it. He frowned thoughtfully.

 


	6. Gibbs

Tony arrived in the squad room before the sun was properly up. It had been an exhausting and emotional week: part of Tony would have liked to have stayed in bed on that gloomy day but, as he had barely slept all night, there seemed no point in giving in to his weariness.

He flopped down on his chair, switched on the desk lamp and groaned when he saw a letter waiting for him.

_DiNozzo_

_I know you've already got a collection of 'letters from the grave' and it made me think that I should write you one too._

Tony recognised the strong upright handwriting which so perfectly reflected the personality of one Leroy Jethro Gibbs. He looked across at the Boss's empty desk and shook his head. He picked the letter up again and resumed reading.

_You've been a good agent. You have more than met the NCIS requirements for an agent: marksmanship is excellent, crime scene processing is very good - especially sketching. Case reporting improved after a poor start. Computer skills are more than adequate although they have been overshadowed by McGee. You have taken on leadership of the team when required and have been involved with the training and mentoring of junior agents. You have carried out the role of Senior Field Agent to a high standard._

Tony's eyes narrowed as he noticed an indentation in the paper. The nib of Gibbs' good fountain pen had gouged a hole as if Gibbs had suddenly pressed too hard in frustration.

_Damn. This reads more like your annual appraisal! Those appraisals were always accurate but I could never get them to make them sound like you. Not sure Delores would have passed them if I had managed to 'capture' you. But this is supposed to be a letter and not an HR report. You know me, I don't really do the touchy feely stuff and I'm not sure you want it anyway. Too bad if you do, you've never got it from me. But, here goes._

_You had that spark when I met you all those years ago that made me want you for my team. Though if I had known what I was letting myself in for I might have passed! I remember the look on Fornell's face when we first worked a case with him – well, you don't really go in for ingratiation, do you? Not that I'm one to talk … Come to think of it, getting a chance to get a word in edgeways when you're around is unlikely. Especially if Ducky is there too._

_Anyway, at the beginning of that case, Fornell obviously thought I'd gone cuckoo but by the end he was trying to poach you. Guess that started that weird to and fro thing you and Tobias have. I've never quite worked out how you annoy people so much that they end up being your friends. What is it – BFFs?_

_I've never regretted hiring you from Baltimore. OK, maybe occasionally when you've 'graced' us with your 32nd movie quote of the day. Or started spit ball contests. Or rubber band wars. Or turned the squad room upside-down looking for something you've lost. So, yes, there have been times I imagined how peaceful my life would have been if you hadn't been around but it would have been duller too. And Ducky says that excitement keeps the heart pumping. Which is a good thing._

_And you've always had my six. Burley and Ziva were good at backing me up in the field. McGee and Bishop are excellent too but somehow I always feel safer, more relaxed when it's you with me. Perhaps it's something to do with your cop training. And of course, there was that time when you literally kept my heart pumping. Like I said, you're good._

_You know, I'd be exhausted if I was you. You always have a comment, an opinion about what's going on; always ready for a discussion (argument!) The squad room's never a dull place when you're around. I soon found out, however, that you're not the clown you like to pretend to be. You wouldn't get the results you do if there wasn't a serious mind at work behind that smiling face. I sometimes wonder what it would be like if you quit the comedy routine but I don't think I ever really wanted to find out. You being you is part of the team dynamic and I reckon that's why you do it. The team doesn't seem to cope well when you turn serious._

_When I said all those years ago 'you'll do' I meant it as a compliment. My brain was pretty foggy and confused but one thing I was sure of – that you were good at the job and you were the right person for me to hand the team on to. Although I remember when it was just you and me as a team: we did well, didn't we? You're a big part of what makes the team successful. So, thank you. And remember, rule 5 – don't waste good, so keep on what you're doing._

_You should be proud of what you do, what you've become, Tony. And if you're not – well, I'm proud for you._

_Semper Fi_

_Gibbs_

Tony reached the end of the letter and sighed. Then he jumped as he became aware of a silent presence by his desk.

"Boss?" he said doubtfully.

Gibbs nodded.

Tony waved the sheet of paper aimlessly, "'cos I wasn't sure," he said.

Gibbs cocked his head in query.

"The other letters from the grave … well, they've been from …"

For answer Gibbs thrust his cup of coffee under Tony's nose. Tony jerked back, "Smells like coffee." He sniffed, "and I can smell sawdust too. Ghosts don't smell. Well, I don't think they do."

"DiNozzo," said Gibbs tolerantly.

"You can see my confusion," said Tony defensively, "a letter from the grave. I wondered if you'd been crushed by a half-made boat falling on you …"

"DiNozzo …"

"Or got food poisoning from three day old takeout …"

"Tony!"

"Or been murdered by an ex-wife."

"Tony!"

"OK. So, you're not dead. Which I'm glad about."

"Pleased to hear it, DiNozzo."

"But this is a letter from the grave," pointed out Tony reasonably.

Gibbs coughed in something like embarrassment, "figured there's no point in waiting until I'm dead for you to know I think you're a good agent. What's the use of that?"

"Bit of a waste," observed Tony.

"See," said Gibbs, "I said you were good!"

"Thanks, Boss,"

"It's been a tough week," said Gibbs, "thought it was time."

Tony nodded gratefully and then suppressed a yawn. Gibbs turned and went back to his desk,

"This isn't a holiday camp, DiNozzo. Get to work!" But he smiled as he said it.

 


End file.
